Comments on: Encouragement vs. Praise http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise Child Therapy, Play Therapy, Parenting Advice and Tips, Play Therapy Topics, Discipline Advice Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:55:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 By: Praise or Encouragement: What is the difference? « praiseintheclassroom http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-459 Praise or Encouragement: What is the difference? « praiseintheclassroom Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:29:57 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-459 [...] (Table taken from  http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise) [...] [...] (Table taken from  http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise) [...]

]]> By: Dee Trimble http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-395 Dee Trimble Thu, 21 Jul 2011 01:20:33 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-395 I am a retired teacher who, late in my career, began using encouragement over praise approximately 70% to 30% respectively. It worked wonders in improving the environment in my special education class of emotionally challenged students. I have a problem with the way encouragement vs praise is presented in almost all situations. It seems changing the wording but still making a judgement call is the order of the day! I submit that ANY TIME the word "you" or "I" is used to try to encourage someone that this is STILL praise because the person saying it is still the one judging the effort or quality of what is being done by another. My classroom aide had been with me many years when we began our efforts to encouraging students. As we worked together to implement this change we hit upon three phrases that took ALL the judgement out of the teacher's mouth and put the judgement in the cognitive portion of the brain of the person receiving the phrase. These phrases are: 1) looks like...2) seems like... 3) it appears... i.e. "It looks like you are trying hard to get your math completed!" "It seems like are really paying attention to your reading assignment!" "It appears that you studied hard because you got a 100% on your spelling test!" These statements make it clear that whomever is receiving them is going to have to judge for themselves if the statement is in fact true or not, unlike statements like:d "You did your best and didn't give up.". Did they, in fact, do the best they could? Who should make this call? "You must be proud of yourself." Are they really proud? Who should decide this? "I have faith in you." Why does this person's faith matter? Who should have faith in themselves? These statements come right out of the Montessori Philosophy: Praise vs. Encouragement web page. Montessori is not the only one doing these shifts in wording. I found the same results in all the sites I visited. It is not easy to make the switch to encouragement! My aide and I worked on it diligently for several months before we turned the corner. You don't have to worry that you don't give any praise because it creeps quite often. Old habits die hard! I welcome feedback! I am a retired teacher who, late in my career, began using encouragement over praise approximately 70% to 30% respectively. It worked wonders in improving the environment in my special education class of emotionally challenged students.

I have a problem with the way encouragement vs praise is presented in almost all situations. It seems changing the wording but still making a judgement call is the order of the day! I submit that ANY TIME the word “you” or “I” is used to try to encourage someone that this is STILL praise because the person saying it is still the one judging the effort or quality of what is being done by another.

My classroom aide had been with me many years when we began our efforts to encouraging students. As we worked together to implement this change we hit upon three phrases that took ALL the judgement out of the teacher’s mouth and put the judgement in the cognitive portion of the brain of the person receiving the phrase. These phrases are: 1) looks like…2) seems like… 3) it appears…

i.e.
“It looks like you are trying hard to get your math completed!”

“It seems like are really paying attention to your reading assignment!”

“It appears that you studied hard because you got a 100% on your spelling test!”

These statements make it clear that whomever is receiving them is going to have to judge for themselves if the statement is in fact true or not, unlike statements like:d

“You did your best and didn’t give up.”. Did they, in fact, do the best they could?
Who should make this call?

“You must be proud of yourself.” Are they really proud? Who should decide this?

“I have faith in you.” Why does this person’s faith matter? Who should have faith in themselves?

These statements come right out of the Montessori Philosophy: Praise vs. Encouragement web page. Montessori is not the only one doing these shifts in wording. I found the same results in all the sites I visited.

It is not easy to make the switch to encouragement! My aide and I worked on it diligently for several months before we turned the corner. You don’t have to worry that you don’t give any praise because it creeps quite often. Old habits die hard!

I welcome feedback!

]]> By: Brooke http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-363 Brooke Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:23:32 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-363 I am wondering what's been spoken of using both? I tend to use both praise and encouragement. The examples listed above showed me I definitely lean towards encouragement without even knowing it. But there is certainly praise found throughout a conversation I am having with children. I am a teacher at a child care facility and would be curious to see if using both was rendering one or the other ineffective because children tend to hear the first or last thing you say. I am wondering what’s been spoken of using both? I tend to use both praise and encouragement. The examples listed above showed me I definitely lean towards encouragement without even knowing it. But there is certainly praise found throughout a conversation I am having with children.
I am a teacher at a child care facility and would be curious to see if using both was rendering one or the other ineffective because children tend to hear the first or last thing you say.

]]> By: Parent Each Child According To His Way | NEW DAY NEW LESSON http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-330 Parent Each Child According To His Way | NEW DAY NEW LESSON Sun, 08 May 2011 03:24:41 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-330 [...] her children’s friends welcome in our house. * I want to be a mother who gives her children encouragement rather than praise. * I want to be a mother who knows which battles are the important ones and which to sidestep. * I [...] [...] her children’s friends welcome in our house. * I want to be a mother who gives her children encouragement rather than praise. * I want to be a mother who knows which battles are the important ones and which to sidestep. * I [...]

]]> By: JEANNE LANDIS http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-221 JEANNE LANDIS Wed, 23 Mar 2011 01:23:38 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-221 I found a couple of your articles. This one would be a great short training for parents and paraprofessionals. I WANT MORE! JEANNE LANDIS I found a couple of your articles. This one would be a great short training for parents and paraprofessionals.
I WANT MORE!

JEANNE LANDIS

]]> By: Are Americans Weak Parents? — The Kid Counselor ™ http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-181 Are Americans Weak Parents? — The Kid Counselor ™ Thu, 24 Feb 2011 21:04:09 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-181 [...] have written articles about the negative impact of too much praise and the current issues with Generation Y entering the workforce. American philosophy about child [...] [...] have written articles about the negative impact of too much praise and the current issues with Generation Y entering the workforce. American philosophy about child [...]

]]> By: 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids — The Kid Counselor ™ http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/encouragement-vs-praise#comment-138 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids — The Kid Counselor ™ Mon, 17 Jan 2011 00:12:56 +0000 http://www.thekidcounselor.com/articles/2006/10/02/encouragement-vs-praise/#comment-138 [...] Good job! I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Train yourself to [...] [...] Good job! I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Train yourself to [...]

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