Comments on: Discipline Tip- Stop Counting to Three!

By: david peace

david peace — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 20:09:02 +0000

I love how you pointed out the conditioning. Children subconciously habitualize the expectation of whatever consequence there is following. With developing nervous systems this is even more true. The “do this and this happens” mode of parent’s response, if consistent being absorbed due to the the early speed of learning.

By: brenna

brenna — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:32:56 +0000

I agree that choice giving works well with older kids. But, it also works with kids as young as two. When a child chooses a third choice that he wants, you respond with “I’m sorry, I know you would like (what he chose), but that is not part of the choice. The choices are “You can choose…” (offer the original choices again). This reiterates that you are in charge, but he still gets to have a measure of control. The intention of offering choices is to build self-control and responsibility for actions. If you always threaten to count, it doesn’t teach the child to make a decision on his own. And, the earlier you begin to offer choices, the better the child will respond to them when he can be offered choices that carry more weight.

By: Jayden'sMom

Jayden'sMom — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:36:25 +0000

Choice giving is a great idea, and probably works pretty well with older kids. I do not, however, think it is appropriate for young kids. I’ve tried giving my 2 year old choices, and of the two choices I give him, he always picks a third option that HE came up with. However, if I ask him to do something and he refuses, often all I have to say is, “Does Mama have to count to get cooperation?” and he’ll comply. The problem with the example of counting in this article is the parents using counting as a last resort. In order to be effective, counting must be used as soon as a child refuses to comply. Also, counting has to be an effective form of discipline for that child.